FIVE. and a letter to first time moms

A photo posted by Leslie (@cuteandpeculiar) on Jun 9, 2015 at 3:31pm PDT

A photo posted by Leslie (@cuteandpeculiar) on Jul 5, 2015 at 5:35pm PDT

FIVE. Mr. Bear is five years old. He's all but a grown up in his head and while we are so excited to see our little baby grow up to be a gentle, sweet, curious boy, I got to thinking of the time before all these boys. The time when I was so eager reading anything I could get my hands on about growing this little boy inside me. I so desperately wanted to do it right. I longed a little for those early days when motherhood felt like such a mystery.  While every birth there after is so special there is something so different about your first. Stepping into parenthood was just so scary and exciting. And in a way I wish I had those feelings even the fears back for a little and really soak in all those fleeting moments.

So here I am giving new parents more advice. (as if they need more unsolicited advice)

DEAR first time mom,

Never again will you loose sleep reading about proper sleep patterns for healthy brain development of babies. That crap is terrifying and who wants to mess up their babies brain based on sleep. Enjoy your weekly emails from Baby Center telling you what size your baby is  and if your like me also enjoy reading What to Expect while your Expceting, Your pregnancy week by week, and various other online resources just to see if anyone can add anymore information.(What else is happening inside me for goodness sake!) 

Soak in talking about first solids for hours. Will you do cereal (no, that crap is bad for their gut, but it may make them sleep more AH!) will you do all organic jars, make your own, baby led weaning? Seriously find a new mom that cares and this conversation will go on for a long time. While you're at it ask her about diapering. Cloth or disposables. DISCLAIMER: if they cloth diaper add at least another hour to your conversation. 

Scour the internet for cool kids books, even better if they are fun for you to read. And true story you will read to your first kid at least  1,000,000 more books than any other kid. You will also play a ton more classical music because that's what all those baby books and websites told you to do. 

You will read reviews on EVERYTHING!! Finding the right bib is hard and it's a good thing that other first time moms have taken the time to write 576 reviews on them on Amazon. Go ahead read them all, you know you want to.

While you're at it start reading some cool mom blogs. You know the ones with the super stylish kids and the mom that pops a baby out and puts her tiny jeans back on immediately after labor. You will love and hate these blogs but you will not be able to stop reading them. Especially during your 2am feedings after you've read your midnight research about how long should a baby nurse in one sitting. At the very least you will get cute outfit ideas and know all the super trendy over priced toys you can get your kids. 

This may sounds so silly and like I am teasing, but I am not. I loved that stage of motherhood so much and with every other birth you will recreate some of these things but you will find your groove with every little one. You will know your preferences, the fear of the unknown won't be so extreme. So enjoy  growing that baby, slow down and feel all those kicks, read as much as you want, document all you can. Above all know that whatever you choose this little baby will be loved and a complete gift. You will do great, I promise. 

House Tour Part 1

Welcome home little ones.

A photo posted by Leslie (@cuteandpeculiar) on Apr 3, 2015 at 6:18pm PDT

As I mentioned in the last post there is HUGE news, we purchased a home. I don't really know where to begin this story as it's like all our other life decisions it came out of left field a bit and 100% from God. Long story short a mortgage is WAY cheaper than rent (for more sq. footage woohoo) and after doing some research and a lot of prayer we put one foot in front of the other and started the process of looking for a home. Half expecting to have doors closed in our face while laughing at us. Two self employed people aren't exactly the best candidate for loans, but if there is anything I have learned is if God has a plan nothings going to stop it.

We looked at a few homes and a few doors were closed. When I saw the listing for his home I quickly emailed our realtor at midnight right when it was listed. The next day as I was showing husband the listing our realtor called, at the exact moment I answered husband proclaimed "this is our home" . Our realtor insisted we take a tour of a home that fit the bill right then. Guess what house he was standing in? The same home. The house was on the market for half a day we were the only people to take a  tour and they accepted our first offer.  With the blessings and prayers of our family we just kept walking  taking the next step and before we knew it we were sitting in a room signing our closing papers and being handed the keys to our very own home.

We've been here for about a month and we are loving it. The boys room still needs a coat of paint. The whole house did. Before we moved in the home was half ox blood red, half tan, The boys room was lilac with grey sponge paint. The sun room still has pink ceilings and tan walls. But we were blessed that paint was the biggest problem considering the house was built in 1920. The photos above are of the sun room, living a dining area as well as our bedroom which opens up to the living room. It's been so fun dreaming about making this our home, what we can change. how we can decorate. I can't wait to finish up the rest of the rooms and share pictures.

Meet Digby

A photo posted by Leslie (@cuteandpeculiar) on Apr 15, 2015 at 11:45am PDT

Meet Digby the newest member of our family! And like most members of this family he's a boy and the most adorable Labrador I have ever laid eyes on. We are all over the moon with this little guy.

As far as life goes, things have been in a very big transition. We bought a home!!! It was am amazing blessing that we didn't even think was possible but here we are. That deserves it's own post and will have to wait until later. But we are all thrilled and have been settling in nicely. I can't wait to share more soon.

Everything is beautiful

I have been living in the space between my ears a lot lately. Which as so many would tell you, it is just not a good thing. Hypersensitivity, and self doubt can really mess with you.

It's no doubt that the time we have spent here in Idaho has really rocked our family for the good. Blessings, new passions, rekindled love for God , have all been a part of this journey. But there is always that whisper. You have heard it too. It sometimes comes as white noise, it starts off quiet and all of a sudden you become so fixed on the buzzing that, that is all you hear. The thing  that makes you feel like maybe what you have isn't enough, How you live, what you do is not enough, the desire for more is what I am suppose to strive for. And maybe you may never accomplish that because you aren't worthy of it anyway. The cycle continues until you are so blinded by your own thoughts that each day seems mundane.

I've been praying a lot about my attitude, for God to help me soften my heart and see the worth in myself and my life.  I've slowly seen the the transformation. The gratitude list growing daily. For someone who takes pride in enjoying simple pleasures it was a big realization to see that although I may enjoy  small moments I somehow can easily block them out at the end of the night and just determine "today wasn't very good... that little moment was fun but the rest just stunk" How could I be so quick to dismiss my joy? As if the time it lasted was the only thing to base the true significance of it in my day. "It was only a minute or two", sometimes dismissing whole hours or part of the day merely to prove my point of how bad that day was. How could I do that? Rather, how dare I do that! The Lord will without a doubt brings something in my day that will bring me joy, often I can guarantee that He brings many things throughout the day that make me smile.  It's my job to tally those daily blessings up and come up with a total that better represents my day, my life and my journey. Friends I  am here to say that most days my math is off. My smiles and laughs well out weigh the bad. I am here to correct my attitude. It won't come all at once but I want to slowly change my nightly talk about the miserable part of the day and really look at those little moments and really rejoice in all that has been given to me and my loved ones.

My little Wolf often comes upstairs in the middle of the night and we are awaken  the next morning with he and Bear curled up next to our bed on the floor. Wolf wakes with a full thought and ready for a conversation the moment his eyes open.  A few days ago he awoke looked at me with sleepy doe eyes and said "Mama everything is beautiful" it was both a statement and a question. I looked at his sweet inquisitive face. Full on eagerness to love all that is around him and responded "yes baby everything is beautiful" because at that very second it really was.

Hey folks remember Christmas?

 ^ ^^^ this photo says "mama I am so exhausted but just had to wake up because the anticipation was too much^^

 ^^ isn't it so cool that Santa gives out healthy treats? Almond butter, crackers, and applesauce.^^

                                                          ^^^ plaid, on plaid, on plaid, cuddles^^^

Oh yes! Nothing like posting a few Christmas photos on the last week of January. From what I remember (you know because it's been so long) we had a wonderful day. Family breakfast, loved ones, a great dinner.  We were all blessed with such incredibly thoughtful gifts, some handmade but everything from our whole family was so meticulously picked that we all felt so loved.

 We read the Christmas story the whole month of December so by the time Christmas day rolled around the boys were excited to celebrate the birth of Christ  It was lovely being able to see them act out and re-tell the story in the most beautifully simple way.