Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Consistency vs. Schedule

So as a mommy that wants to "parent with intention" I look forward to the time I get B in a wakeful calm state where I can sing, play, exercise and just plain have some fun with him. I have been blessed with a VERY alert child. It feels like sometimes he fights sleeping because he doesn't want to miss a beat.( I assure him there is nothing fun going on at 4:30am and he should go back to bed HA!) I sometimes feel like he gets frustrated when he isn't stimulated enough. But with that said I have to remind myself that (here's a shocker) HE IS STILL A BABY. I recently had the most awesome 24hr period with him. He woke up so happy and alert we played, got ready for our day. He took naps consistently through out the day woke up to feed and play.
That evening we got ready for bed he slept great in his crib (he slept in a co sleeper for a while) woke up only to be fed and get changed but immediately went back to sleep once put down. Sounds like a mothers dream right? Well I was so excited that the "schedule" had worked out that well, that I planned a whole curriculum for the next day with that same time frame in mind. Boy was I upset when he woke up the next day fussy and all he wanted to do most of the day is sleep. I had to step back and remember he is still so young (one month old today to be exact) and just because some days he can handle so much that isn't always going to be the case.

Hence the consistency vs. schedule. His only daily task is to eat , sleep and poop! And that is the only thing as a mommy to a very young baby that need to be taken care of consistently. Playing, singing etc. is still so important to his development but can't be put on a schedule it happens when he is ready and happy to do it. If not it makes it not fun for either of you.

As a person who thrives and works best when on a schedule it was a really big lesson for me. To really take a step back and realize what he needs on a daily basis. Some days it may be a lot of music, others just being held and cuddled either way he is getting exactly what he needs to grow up healthy and smart. I have to keep reminding myself that art, music, play time is only one aspect of what can make him well rounded but the most important part is that he know we love him and we will be there always for whatever he needs. When writing that sentence I realized that, that is by far the healthiest, best lesson a baby can learn. For now sign language can wait I'm gonna go cuddle my baby.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Mothering with intention... through the hair pulling

The first lesson in being a momma is.... it's hard. I don't think that people admit that enough. Or if they do they are so dramatic about it that it scares the living day lights out of you. The truth is it's harder than they say but in a completely different way so to try to explain it is pointless. . My biggest challenge at first was realizing that I am responsible for someone else, that I can no longer come and go whenever I please. That what my baby needs at this moment is more important than most things on my to do list for the day. My mother in law calls this "working for the eternal vs. for the moment". Meaning that how I raise and influence B today will leave a lasting impression for the rest of his life and his future family (scary to think) vs. doing laundry, cleaning although important is just for today for the moment. It's not easy and sometime you want to pull your hair out... good thing B seems to do that for me.

I can't say that I always follow that mantra. I have found myself trying to lull him to sleep so I can clean the closet or do laundry when I really should be playing and giving him different type of attention. By the naked eye I looked like a great mom holding, cuddling and rocking my baby to sleep but truth is I was depriving him of important stimulation time.

Being an art teacher at a preschool for the last several months has taught me routine, consistency and knowing your intent with everything you do with a child is everything. Keeping some things the same to make them feel safe while changing some things to keep their interest is a hard balance especially when your trying to apply that theory to your own child and your, your own boss. Basically I am treating motherhood as a full time teaching job. I plan the curriculum, the field trips and meals.

Here's to my new job and my first student. I will be posting ideas, projects and activities I am doing hoping that this may help other new moms know that there is a lot more to do with your baby than lulling him to sleep or taking him out to run errands. Both great and need to be done but there is so much more.

Sometimes lulling isn't such a bad thing.... especially during bed time. The hair pulling is so worth it for these moments.

Welcome to mommyhood

He's finally here. Our little boy Bear has arrived on June 28th 2010. And boy did he make for an exciting entrance into this world. Cliff notes version of his birth story.... We wanted a natural birth, during labor I decided that natural birth was not for me. HA! I was stuck at home immobile because the contractions were so strong I kept on trying to muster up the strength to get ready to go to the hospital to get an epidural by the time that happened we got in the car and the first thing I said was... " I think I have to push!" In unison by husband and his mom say "DON'T PUSH!!!" We got to the hospital, I get put in the wheelchair and immediately get taken into the laboring room. The nurse checked me said I was ready and I was going to have this baby in A FEW MINUTES!! 15 minutes later he was here and guess what.... I got the natural birth I planned. God works in amazing ways. Without further ado may I introduce the newest member of out family, Bear

Pretty cute huh? Well it's been almost a month and I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of having someone completely dependent of me. It's nothing like what I thought it was, a lot harder but I am so much more in love with him than I ever thought possible.