Friday, April 13, 2012

A bad case of the ikks

Looks like all 4 of us woke up feeling very much like Wolf in this picture. We just couldn't seem to get it together this morning. Between W teething and B coming into toddler hood this mama has been a bit discouraged.
Oh toddler hood you are a big question mark to me right now. How is it that my very content baby has become a very discontent toddler? I know that this is just a giant leap of milestones filled also with the compression on his own identity and finding boundaries but my goodness is it leaving me exhausted.
I often read parenting blogs and websites and ask for advise until I am blue in the face and sometimes am left with even more questions or more discouraged than when I started. What happened to a mothers instinct?Granted lately my survival instinct has said hide in the bathroom (I kid) but what happened to parenting with your heart, asking the Lord for guidance? I feel like lately I am relying too much on techniques rather than what might work for my boys and I. I have lost my sense of self in the parenting world only to rely on others opinions. While I value parenting "techniques" and advise very much I have to understand that there is no one way to parent if there was we would all be born with a handbook. But what is in in mothers that makes us think that trusting ourselves is wrong? I have mentioned mom guilt in others post but I really do think it is a sickness  that not too many women speak of. The sheer panic that we do will somehow be damaging our children is often too  powerful of a fear to work through. I have spoken to my husband about this lately and what he said really made me stop on my tracks. "how weak do you think God made us" is reply to what if every action I do is damaging my kids. While yes we must be gentle, kind, and nurturing to our children  as it is so vital for their growth I have completely take God out of my parenting equation and have replaced in the Google and Dr. Sears only to feel like I am failing my children.
 I am a good mom a mom that will do anything for my kids, even obsess all night about what things I should do diffident the next day. God did not make our babies weak but he also did not make moms weak either. We are strong and given this very blesses opportunity to have our first disciples. I pray today that I am more aware of the Lords presence and more attuned to what makes more sense to my children and myself. It's time for me to put God back into my parenting.

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