Bath Time

After dinner the two older boys typically go upstairs with papa and get in the bath and get ready for bed. I typically finish dinner dishes while Baby Hawk finishes his dinner a la baby led weaning which basically means that both he and the floor will be in need of a little scrubbing.

I run a warm bath for him in the  kitchen sink and  for those few minutes before the  bedtime chaos begins we get a little time together. It's our little secret quiet time. When you have three kids (or more than one really) you have to find those little moments to soak up some one on one time with each of them. It's a time to hit the reset button and just enjoy this very moment. I am so very thankful for this adorable stage.

4 months

one.month.old

I can't believe it's been a month already. I know that it feels especially fast because half of that time was spent in the hospital but my goodness I still can't believe I should still technically be pregnant.

I am enjoying  this babymoon where all I want to do is snuggle and kiss this little guy. Though the reality of having a newborn who wakes up all through the night and still having to be a functioning human being during the day is starting to sink in. It only took Wolf eighteen months to sleep through the night. HA! But honestly I am trying to take all this time in because it really is so fleeting.

He's gained two pounds since birth and for a preemie that is really amazing especially since we were fortunate enough to get the hang of the whole breastfeeding thing without having to supplement. GO US!!!!
He's a great sport with his older brothers who may not be the most gentle when they go for a kiss or a hug, but it is so sweet to see them "try" to be so gentle and loving.

In a few weeks my MIL will be gone and I am going to be doing this gig on my own when husband is at work. The overconfident side of me wants to say that I am totally ready for this, but secretly I am kind of in a panic. I would venture to say I am in for a challenge. A fun one non the less but intimidating just the same.

It's a Boy!!!!!

His arrival was just as big of a surprise as his gender. After a very hard to accept emergency C-section this baby made his arrival at 34 weeks. It was hard, heartbreaking, and scary but I am so thankful to say he is here and healthy. And I am now a proud mama of three boys. 

Things have been long and overwhelming. He is still in the NICU and we are anxiously waiting for him to get a hang of the whole eating thing before he gets released. Life has been a giant balancing act between spending time in the hospital while still trying to sneak in some cuddles for my older boys. No matter where I am I feel like I am missing something. There is just no easy decision  these days. 

I am thankful for a loving and amazing family that all came together and came ready to wipe tears, give extra hugs and overall take care of all of us during this time. My MIL has been amazing and I am so thankful that she is sticking around for a while to help. 

Maybe one day I will share my birth story as I have with the other two boy. One day when we are all together under one roof  and I am able to contain the tears enough to see my screen. For now I am holding on to the fact that he is healthy and will be home soon and we will all be together again.